Wow, that's new

This week I had to travel to Nashville for a work meeting. Basically just some sales crap and motivation booster. I hadn't been to the city in a year, as it turns out. THe only way I had figured this out was because I messaged this guy I had met on okcupid the last time I was there and the text log told me so. Anyway, I drive to the city the night before the meeting to party. I don't make it to Nashvegas often, and the guy I was hoping to go out with was out of town on business.

That's beside the point. THe guy that I met up with and I, and his buddy I met last time as well, all met up for drinks. well 8:30pm turned into 9:30pm, which suddenly timewarped itself in to 2:30 something AM. I had to be up at about 7:30am ish or earlier. Full of whiskey with a splash of tequila, my buddy followed me back to the hotel to make sure I didn't kill myself or others. He escorted me to my room and we started making out.

Now this is where it gets weird.

I felt nothing. NOTHING. no tingly sensation in my nether regions, no accelerated heart beat. Just. Nothing. I got ready for bed and politely sent him on his way. Honestly, even though I travel often, I really don't bring people back to my room. Ever.

I think I broke myself.

Got glue?

Where have all the boys gone?

Men. You have all been so BORING lately. That is, of course, just the ones I have seen out, Where are the rest of you? Admittingly, when I visited my neighborhood Irish pub a few weeks ago, the place was CRAWLING with attractive men. It was so completely unexpected. I definitely wasn't dressed for it. Unfortunately for all of those attractive men, my close friend needed me for support and to ignore them until she left. I mean, some kept flashing their abs, which was annoying and stupid, but I can't remember the last time a bunch of guys tried to "peacock" around me. I was great and frightening at the same time. By the time my friend decided to leave, the sausage fest had, unfortunately, dwindled out. I did meet a short, sweet guy with the initials of JAWs who, as it turns out, is almost as big of a nerd as I am. :)

But that was two weeks ago and I have been too busy to schedule that followup. I'm really bad about that. Perhaps tonight will bring something new and exciting. Or maybe it will just be another boring story that goes no where. Who knows?

Getting over rejection

So aside from eating more, which I really need to put a halt on, I keep finding myself in horribly tragic situations with men these past few months. I am officially approaching my mid thirties which, apparently, is when many women are at the sexual peak. You know what makes being at a sexual peak difficult? Men that can't get it up. I mean, seriously! I keep wondering if I can get a sample pack of viagra or something to crush up and slip in the beer. Maybe I should just stop taking home guys from the bar between 2-7am.

Right, and maybe my ass with sprout wings and fly. That late in the night, I make poor decisions just like everyone else. The only difference is that I usually snag the cute drunks. Sometimes. Not always. But this flaccid penis epidemic has me freaking out! Is it me? Is it them?

Or should I just blame it on the al-a-a-al-al-alcohol?

To investigate a bit further, I asked a friend that I had been sleeping with for a bit at the end of last year. He assured me that in no way could sex the problem. Unfortunately he took my inquiry personally and assumed that I was broken up about him not sleeping with me anymore or something. Truth be told, he only had sex with me twice...maybe. All of the rest of the times he came to my house just so he wouldn't have to make the 30minute drive home. He also took advantage of falling to sleep while watching netflix with me.

Now, I have had men tell me that I am "too horny". Honestly, I think this is a cop out. Seriously, if I see you once or twice a week, had a few drinks, and want to ravage the sheets o my bed with you into the morning and maybe once in the afternoon when we wake up, how is that "too horny"? You guys talk about how difficult women are to understand, but look at you! You would rather watch a porn at home by yourself than sleep with that cute, nerdy  chick you were talking to. Maybe its just the guys that are closer to my age that this is an issue with. Looks like I am shooting for mid-early twenties again! Maybe they can keep their dicks hard.

Like Phil, this guy I met back in January. He is a chemist somewhere in town. We had a great conversation about where I related chemical solutions to either my job or certain aspects of life (I was drunk, he was hot, I don't remember). He was either twenty-four or twenty-two and definitely fun. I didn't get his number or any contact info the next morning. I don't even think I let him out of the house. I think I just told him where the keys were and sent him away. That's ok I can find him if I want to. He friend that introduced us works for my mom (kinda). I made out with that guys before, too. Now he lives in forever fear that I am going to tell my mom about him.

Leverage, bitches.

Have a great St. Patrick's Day, Everyone! And remember, if the dick is green, switch to the machine!

It's been a while

Hey lovies. I'm putting together some new blog posts from some that I started to write over the last few months which didn't quite get completed.

Long story short, I had started seeing someone for a month or so who had me completely open up to him just to dum me for a chick that I apparently went to high school with. Ah well. I've been slightly man bingeing since silently and spitefully. Stories to come.

One a side note, can anyone tell me how to keep posts anonymous on blogger? I just know that many of these stories are going to come around and bite me in the ass if I don't figure it out soon.

What I am thankful for...

Last Christmas, I was thankful for this sight...

I wouldn't mind finding this Santa under my tree. I'll even let him eat cookies in bed. ;)

A few months ago I got a bug up my ass on a Thursday night and decided to go do karaoke in a bar I don't often frequent. Every once in a while I ditch my entourage of drinking buddies that normally surround me and go for something new..ish. I choose to tell people that I just need to get out of my comfort zone when I do this, but really I do it for the different crowd of guys. The down part of this is that the bartenders and KJ's don't know who I am/remember me so the service and drinks pours tend to be sub par.

Oh the things I have to give up just to try and meet new people. Life is hard,  you guys.

So once of these random Thursdays I popped into a little bar called Blue Monkey. The night was almost completely a bust for me with only a few people including me in conversations. Mainly a gentleman that was probable old enough to be my father. I think he was the only one that may have even purchased a drink for me.

Ugh.

Eventually I noticed this good looking, buff guy coming over to order a few drinks for his table.  Apparently I have one of those faces that looks like someone everyone has met sometime in their life. Hell, if might always actually be me and I just don't remember them. Kind of like the Audrey/Lucy/Sarah character on Haven, but slightly more fermented. Anyway, he told me he had just gotten out of the military (that explained the muscles) and was moving back to Memphis. Now, this part of the conversation made me aware of a few things:

-The possibility of him knowing me or about me was low which is awesome. Everyone seems to know everyone in this city. It is close to impossible to date someone that hasn't dated someone you know or vice versa.

-He is single.

Then I noticed the Lucero tattoo on his bicep. Cartoon hearts exploded from my eyes. We exchanged numbers and a few texts. Perhaps it's about time to track him down for those drinks we talked about.

This past Thursday I decided to go to the same place and found not only one, but TWO hot guys that were passing trough from Nashville to Illinois. I remember that they are in a band and were doing radio spots, but not touring. The first hottie was Noah (drool). I can't remember the other guy's name off the top of my head. Of course they were surrounded by women, but were kind enough to ignore all and speak with me for a while, which totally threw me off. I need to track those guys down, too. One of my friends said their band name is GIRLGIRL, I think. Hrm. Great asses.

I'll be stalking around a wine night tonight trying to not let myself drink more than one bottle. Hangovers are nasty after 1+ and the nights get a little spotty.

Stay warm, babies.

11/12/13

Recently, one of my friends, whom I don't get the opportunity to see very often, pointed out that the vast majority of my stories end up starting with "So I met this guys the other night when I was at (name of bar here)...." Of course, usually I forget which guy I may have mentioned which time during which situation and, of course, the more alcohol I consume during the evening, the more my stories end up blending together. Often has the thought of jotting down my exploits crossed my mind just as kind of a reference tool since Jameson Irish Whiskey usually wipes my internal human hard drive clean within a few days.

So I figured today was just as good of a day as any to finally start blogging.

I don't know for sure where this blog is going to take me, or even if my lazy ass can tear myself away from watching Netflix instant watch long enough to update, but we will see how this goes. Just to get in to the flow of things, I'm going pull something totally uneventful from a few months ago.

So I met this guy at karaoke night. He usually hangs out with my friend Hilary. I know I tried to ask about him several times but didn't want to actually go up to her and ask about him because it was just easier to try and send her a facebook message from two tables away. Of course I would never get a response for a day or two later and she would have no idea who I was referring to. I have asked her about some of the hot guys she hangs out with before, but she usually tells me they are all gay.

Come to think of it, I think that has become her go to response any time I want to hit on one of her guy friends.

hmm

Anyway, one night I gathered up the courage (i.e. drank enough) to finally start talking to him. Apparently we had spoken before. I was drunk whenever that time was, too. Whatever. I kind of played it off and we had a great conversation about...something. I can't remember what. Hell, I can't even remember his name at this point. Can't say if we made out or not. I think I gave him my number, but if I saved his, I have no idea which one it is.

That usually ends up being a regular night. There was a guy I spoke to, maybe a few of them. Most of them I meet for the first time multiple times. If I can't remember their name or face, they are new to me.  My go to line when that happens tends to be "Have I mentioned I like to drink?" Maybe I gave them my number. Maybe I made out with them once while I was in blackout mode. Maybe I hit one in the balls and threatened to stab him.

Oh geez, this is just sounding like a possible lawsuit.

What I am trying to say is that this might end up being a pretty cool blog. On the other hand, it might be the reason I am in court one day. I guess we will find out soon enough.